Let's Talk About Bunnies

April 21, 2025

There are a series of recorded April self practice deep rest sessions included with this post

So rabbits. This might seem a bit off topic for a Back to Yoga Blog. However read on and I will attempt to explain how the bunnies fit in…

First of all let me introduce you to my two rabbits Willow and Teddy. They come to every single self practice with me and are my number one cheerleaders with little happy binkies when the yoga mat comes out. They are supreme practitioners of listening to their bodies, they know what time yoga happens in their daily routine, they’re dedicated to showing up for it with enthusiasm, and their deep rest practice is inspirational.

Willow - French Lop rescue (aka Emmylou Willow Bear) and Teddy Giant Continental rescue (aka Teddy Bear)

When it comes to being connected, to themselves, to each other, to their surroundings, and to being highly tuned into every nuance of the present moment, once again they are leaders in the field.

When I see my bunnies happily flopping over unselfconsciously I am pretty sure that they are not beating themselves up for how they look, what other’s might think or what else they ought to be doing. They are 100% committed to the flop in that particular moment. They are soft, sweet, funny, gentle, and mischievous teachers that definitely motivate me to get to my mat.

If you watch any of the recorded self practice sessions you will notice all sorts of delightful shenanigans from the time Willow bites me on the bum in a bolster supported shoulderstand to when Teddy whips away my head cushion just as I was drifting into a lovely deep Savasana. Always there to ground me and bring me back to earth even if it is occasionally with a thud.

So I’m obviously not suggesting everyone goes out and rescues bunnies to help you ground and connect, but I am interested to know what is in your world that does. What abundantly raises your happy hormones without fail, and reduces your stress hormones? What other than will power and achievement get’s you to your yoga mat, or to that other thing you really want to commit yourself to? Feel free to comment below…

9th April 2025 - 01:03:38

14th April 2025 - 00:33:05

18th April 2025 - 00:41:35

24th April 2025 - 00:36:42

10th April 2025 - 00:53:26

15th April 2025 - 00:43:21

22nd April 2025 - 00:48:27

28th April 2025 - 01:24:11

30th April 2025 - 00:50:06

11th April 2025 - 00:46:14

16th April 2025 - 00:38:41

23rd April 2025 - 01:03:19

29th April 2025 - 00:36:24

All we do is show up, lie down and see what happens next

April 7, 2025

This post includes a selection of recorded ashram style self-practice sessions - From March 2025

Since January 2025 I have been running these wonderful online ashram style self practice evenings. At first all I knew was that I had a powerful urge in my solar plexus to get back on my mat and I wanted to share that with my students. I didn’t know what the format was going to be, how long I was going to do it for, if anyone would take me up on the offer and join me, how I was going to structure the sessions or whether or not I would even be able to make the commitment myself each evening. I had a strong sense that by inviting others to join me that that would hold me accountable to showing up at the very least. However the trick that capped it for me was deciding that rather than thinking of this as a ‘yoga practice’ and something that I had to DO. It became an opportunity to stop hustling, and to practice deep relaxation, recovery and rest.

It worked. I am delighted to say since mid January, I have continued to feel not just willing but enthusiastic about the daily rest practice. I have shown up nearly every evening and looked forward to it (as have my bunnies they love it). Yes I have taken some days off where life has had demands, or I was feeling unable for whatever reason. But otherwise knowing that all I need to do is show up and lie down and see what happens next with zero pressure to perform, it has been miraculously a regular occurrence. Plus some lovely students have taken me up on the offer too!

00:17:05 - 31st March

01:10:02 - 26th March

00:53:11 - 28th March

00:49:41 - 25th March

01:06:26 - 20th March

00:45:26 -27th March

01:16:09 - 21st March

Superman has laid down his cape

April 5, 2025

Last time I visited this blog was in 2023. I didn’t stop there with yoga and my efforts to return to my mat. I did stop being able to share about it for a while. But yoga for me is an ongoing life journey. …

I studied at a traditional Vedic ashram school long before smart phones, selfies and social media were a thing.

This was back in the 90’s way before yoga became this vast capitalist western industry that it is now. I travelled to the hills, mountains and rivers of Canada, France and India to steep myself in yogic study and a yogic lifestyle. I stayed on ashrams and learned about the history and roots of yoga and vedanta, about yoga philosophy, yoga as a map for daily living, The Western response to yoga and it’s traditional South Eastern spiritual roots, I was lucky enough to learn devotional and traditional practices steeped in culture, yoga for the mind, meditation, mantra, Ayurveda, ancient health practices, and so much that I integrated into my way of thinking and being. Yogic thought and practice has been my highly influential companion and life map since.

Like any long term relationship my relationship with yoga has gone through phases

There have been times where I have been completely dedicated and driven to practice, and times where I haven’t been able to engage at all. I began teaching yoga in 2002. And post my first teacher training course I practiced religiously, diligently, passionately and with complete dedication for about 6 years. Daily asana and pranayama practice, devotional satsang and chanting, karma yoga, as well as breaking my teeth as a yoga teacher. At this time my practice was unstoppable, joyful and dynamic. I felt as if I was gifted Asana from the gods because as I practiced, the asanas would come to me. I had amazing teachers, and I thought this would last forever.

It is funny how we look back at our younger selves and see this optimistic sense that we will feel like superman forever. Suffice to say on my journey with adulting superman laid down his cape a while ago.

Does anyone else relate to the peaks and troughs of a long term practice? Post ashram yoga has taken me on a journey of self discovery through loss and grief, chronic illness, identity excavation, creativity and transformation, with yoga as my travel companion. I have sought self awareness and self knowledge, authenticity and truth, faith, belief and courage, and discovered falsity, betrayal, illness, and loss along the way, I have shed skins of illusion and it has been excruciating. Yoga showed me in what direction my practice would evolve, even though I thought I was supposed to plan the route myself.

Up to me I would have evolved physically to be a superhuman bendy yogi extraordinaire.

Up to actual yoga, life has crushed my ego and self esteem, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes behind. Not what most people sign up for when they attend their first yoga class.

18th-century painting of Durga slaying the buffalo demon

I have many more skins to shed and illusions to battle! But an inner shift recently says bring it on… I trust that something will emerge from those ashes. The myths and gods and goddesses of yoga mythology, make so much sense to me now when battling life’s adversities. Durga springs to mind for one, with her fierce protective maternal nature, multiple arms with multiple spiritual weapons to fight multiple inner demons…

As someone who lives with multiple co-morbid conditions, the resistance to feeling pain on the mat, emotional and physical has left me and my asana practice as distant and suspicious exes, despite my desperate efforts to get us back together.

Seemingly out of nowhere here we are in 2025 and the desire to return to my actual physical yoga practice on a daily basis has somehow returned. To have a flow of prana, from the solar plexus flowing in the direction of willingness and desire to practice physically, feels like a spiritual gift and one that I would love to share with anyone else who is struggling to meet their mat on a regular basis.

I am embracing two concepts to support this new willingness. Yoga as Union. And choosing to BE rather than DO yoga.

According to many yogic schools of thought Yoga means Union, or to yoke together, to unite. I’m really grappling with embodying this. Union with my surrounding communities, with myself, with my body, with the universe, with the gods and angels, the ancestors, the earth, humanity, the animals and plants.

From that has come a prioritising of my needs to stop doing so much and to allow myself to simply BE. To BE in my practice means to me for now to just stop trying so hard, to stop the pushing and the competition and expectation and of the desire to achieve anything at all, in exchange for recovery, relaxation, deep somatic healing, and a gentle communication with my nervous system. By giving myself permission to show up and do nothing but be gently present and connected doors have remained open to an almost daily union with my body and my mat.

And from this self practice, phoenix like, a practice has emerged that I am sharing with my committed students

I just know that to maintain a regular practice I need to hold myself accountable to someone else. So I’ve chosen to announce to you my students that I will be practicing every evening and that you are welcome to join me. A few souls have already been coming along. Secondly I give myself permission to use this as an opportunity to BE rather than to DO? To allow myself not to come if that is what I need one night. I allow myself to rest all the way through in Savasana if that is what I need, to allow myself to move slowly from a place of connection rather than from an idea of a goal I want to achieve. The more I practice the more I am embodying these states.

Here are the first few April 2025 practices, recorded so you can get a sense of what the evenings look and feel like. Practice along side one of these recordings if you like to get a sense of the practice. If you want to join in follow this zoom link 7:00 p.m. Monday - Friday. Video on or off is up to you.

1st April - 00:50:47

2nd April - 00:33:04

3rd April - 00:17:44

4th April - 01:04:20

Disappointment & Grief - Forward Bend Practice

February 3, 2023

I recently had a session with my sister who is a family and relationship life coach. I asked her If maybe she would give me a session around my relationship with yoga, and she agreed.

I wanted to do this because my relationship with yoga is far from simple, it is a 30 year relationship and like any 30 year relationship it has had its deep challenges as well as it’s profoundly joyful moments.

The session was incredible actually. I was able to talk about complicated moments with my yoga school, with my own practice, with my feelings and emotions. I wanted to explore this for lots of reasons, firstly, to help me continue dissolving my own blocks, but also to be able to share whatever I learn with my blocked students.

One thing that came up was a strong awareness that I was being blocked by fear of the feelings that were coming up when I practiced. Mainly grief and disappointment.

The grief for me is often triggered by some grief I have for loosing my stronger physical practice, but that also taps into deeper wells of old losses and the pain of all life’s griefs surfacing. I had without realising it developed a fear of this experience being overwhelming and it was stopping me from coming to my mat.

Disappointment was vey clearly related to the present moment. I used to be able to practice joyfully and get a powerful flood of joyful energy, but now I can’t and I’m all stiff, sore and blocked. And that feeling of disappointment brushes up against shame, and does not feel at all joyful!

She gave me 2 incredible tips which I want to share here. The first was to maybe find a time each week to set aside to spend with grief, either within or outside of my yoga practice. To make grief a conscious emotion that I am choosing to spend time with to take the edge off the fear of overwhelm.

Her second tip was. What if when disappointment arises in the practice. I let it be OK, I let myself feel disappointed in that moment and then let it pass and continue. WOW!

I left that session telling her I was excited to feel disappointed in my next practice!

Low and behold I had a practice this morning and I had forgotten about my session. When at a point in my practice I tried a pose and a flood of disappointment all mingled in with grief took over my whole body. I almost had my classic response of ignore it, push through, don’t feel the feelings. But her tips came to mind, and I thought, OH! this is it, this is what stops me, this is just a feeling and it will pass, and it flooded me, and I stayed where I was, and it left, my energy didn’t get blocked. I left the session later and I felt good.

I am sure this is not the end of my relationship with yoga, grief and disappointment, job done, however it is a start, to my efforts to not allow these feelings if I can help it, to halt my practice…